The gift with invisible terms
Page 108CHAPTER 7
The gift with invisible terms
An offer of help carries an unwritten agreement; two observers discover that courtesy can contain a clear preference.
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1 One person offered to organize an evening entirely according to another person’s wishes.
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2 The other made the same offer in return.
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3 And I shit you not, each waited for the other to discover the correct wish.
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4 They selected an activity that neither enjoyed, out of consideration for the preference neither had expressed.
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5 The Office of Excellent Intentions recorded two generous sacrifices and no satisfied participants.
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6 Afterward the first said: I did all this for thee.
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7 And the second said: I had hoped thou wouldst not.
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8 Then they opened the invisible contract and found that nothing had been agreed upon.
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9 The first said: I would like a quiet walk, but I am willing to choose separately.
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10 The second said: I would rather draw this evening.
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11 And they arranged to share a drink later, without declaring the separate hour a failure of affection.
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12 For a gift is not improved by hiding its price.
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13 Nor is company made kinder by requiring both persons to disappear.
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14 Thus preference became speakable, and generosity became easier to recognize.
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A gift is not improved by hiding its price.
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TRY IT State one preference or offer clearly. Make room for a different answer.
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READING CONVERSATION Letters 3, 26; pp. 7–8, 53–54.