Specimens of Extraction

Method: Repeatedly treats your thought, reassurance, time, or emotional availability as something it may keep using after you have set a limit.

Field check: The repeated refusal to honor an explicit boundary—not merely talking, grieving, or seeking support.

Countermeasure: “I have fifteen minutes. I cannot keep processing this tonight.”

Mirror: “Did I ask for capacity, or assume access?”

Method: Assigns work, risk, decision-making, or cleanup to other people without agreeing on ownership—sometimes retaining status or credit.

Field check: Track commitments, workload, authority, and who handles the consequences. Dependence and caregiving are not wrongdoing.

Countermeasure: “I can advise. The decision and follow- through remain yours.”

Mirror: “Am I keeping control while outsourcing the difficult part?”

Two field illustrations; neither is an anatomical diagram, DNA subtype, or basis for judging a real person by appearance.